The Light Meets The Dark
by hannersbananers44
Summary: A different goodbye between Emily and JJ. Set during the season 7 finale.


AN: Hey everyone! So this is my first fic with an Emily/JJ pairing, but I adore them both. I had no idea it was going to turn into this, but it did. And I should probably apologize ahead of time. Anyways, I would love to hear what y'all think of it.

AN2: Almost forgot.. I don't own the show or the characters. I just like writing.

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I didn't want this to happen. Not tonight. Not when she was so happy. I didn't want to tell her at all, but I knew it was only a matter of time before word got out and right now I had just enough of a buzz to feel brave. And I had to be the one to tell her. Not Penelope, or Derek, or Hotch. She needed to hear it from me. Sure, this conversation was technically about my new position overseas, but that wasn't the reason I had been dreading it for most of the night. I guess she knew something was wrong though. I mean, she was a profiler and apparently my tell wasn't quite as discrete as I always thought it had been. So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when she approached me as the party was starting to wind down.

"You have something you need to tell me don't you." Her eyes cut right through me, making that nice fuzzy feeling that comes at the bottom of the bottle vanish. I might as well have been stone cold sober. I drank the last of my champagne in one gulp and set the empty glass on the table.

"Yeah. I do."

JJ held out her hand and we walked like school kids towards the low bench that was concealed amongst the trees. It was one of those things we always did, Garcia too. Whenever any of us saw something particularly brutal or were forced to deal with the tougher parts of the job, our hands instinctively went towards each other. It was nice having someone else there to keep you grounded. To remind you that you didn't have to face it alone. That even though we saw the worst of humanity, there was still good in the world. Whatever it was you might have needed reminding of at the time.

It was a few minutes before either of us said anything, instead choosing to sit in this uncomplicated state of being for just a little while longer. I knew though, that I would have to be the one to speak first.

"I love you." I hadn't been expecting those words to be the first ones out of my mouth. The sharp intake of breath told me that JJ hadn't been expecting it either.

"I always have. I just... I never knew how to tell you. And I knew you were straight. And that there were rules. And that opening my mouth would just make everything complicated." I kept my eyes fixed ahead of me, knowing that one look into hers would make me forget how to form words.

"And then you met Will and I was so happy for you. Am so happy for you."

"You. You never said…"

"Of course not." I let myself look at her then. "Because I'm awkward and you're beautiful. And I never imagined that you would feel the same way. And I thought I would be okay with just being your friend. And I am. I just. I had to tell you."

JJ's eyes filled with tears. Sure she loved Will and she knew they would be happy together. But it was never anything you could write a song about. It was just ordinary. Simple even. But with Emily, she knew it was different. She could still remember the first time they met, when something inside of her clicked and it felt like her eyes had finally been opened.

"Emily, I..."

"Jayje it's okay. I understand, really I do. And I'm sorry to bring this up tonight of all nights, but..." But suddenly the reason didn't seem good enough anymore.

"But you're leaving." The tears flowed down JJ's cheeks as she said the words, the sad realization hitting her like a ton of bricks.

"I'm leaving. And I'm sorry it has to be this way. I just…" Just what?… Couldn't bear to see JJ happy with someone else?… She hated herself for even thinking it.

Her eyes met mine then, a lifetime flashing between them in a matter of minutes. And right then I knew there would never be a moment when I could ever get over her. That I would never be able to get that piercing stare out of my head. I would forever be haunted by this beautiful woman and the future we could've had together. And the longer I stayed here, the worse it would be. I stood up and started to leave without saying goodbye, knowing the lump still in my throat would make it impossible.

"Em wait…Dance with me?" She stuttered, voice thick and eyes still filled with tears. "Please…" I felt her fingers intertwine with mine, pulling me back towards her.

"You.. You want to dance?" She just shook her head.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head against me, pulling me close as my arms found their way around her waist. There we were, dancing to no music, like the rest of the world had stopped. I felt her lips, so soft against my neck, and held on to her tighter, praying I could turn the clock and go back to the beginning. That tomorrow we wouldn't wake up in lonely beds in different cities. Then I kissed her, hoping with it I could explain all the things that couldn't be put into words. My eyes met hers for the last time and I was gone.


End file.
